I miss the days when I woke up and my first thought wasn’t, “Gee, what’s Trump et al done to fuck us over now?” Ugh. It’s bloody exhausting. I never actually wanted to live in a dystopian novel. As an introvert it’d be so easy to curl up and hide out until it’s all over, especially since I enjoy a certain amount of privilege as a middle class cis white woman with supportive friends and family (I have no real fear about being “out” as an atheist, bisexual, and feminist). One of the toughest things about this past year is having to confront and acknowledge my privilege and biases on a daily basis. And when that happens, the choice is to either ignore it and go about things as normal or stare yourself in the eye and say, “I’ll do better.” Part of being a well-rounded, healthy human is taking our shortcomings and faults and learning from them. “I’ll do better.” I think that needs to be my daily mantra. Not just do more but do better. Or something. The coffee hasn’t fully kicked in yet.
Since I give a damn about other people, I get off my privileged ass and march or (attempt to) call my senators–Casey’s been awesome, but you’ve all seen the “fun” to be had with Toomey–or at the very least give money to organizations that stand up for and defend others. Do something.
In the midst of it all, it’s tough to remember why we stand up and fight for each other, fight for a better world. You’ve still gotta find joy, somewhere, somehow. And you’ve gotta find that balance between caring for others and for yourself.
So, while trying to be more socially and politically active and pro-active, I’m also trying to be more physically active. Joined the nearby gym so I can go use the treadmills (and eventually other equipment) to get my daily walks in and not fall back on the the too hot, too cold, too tired excuse. Tried the too tired excuse this morning and paid for it with a grouchy cat who wanted to be fed NOW! Jerk. And I’m trying to be more mentally active by getting back to writing. Sure, it’s just reworking an old story at the moment, but it’s a start. It’s better than just sitting there playing video games and watching Murder, She Wrote (although, I’m still doing that, but not just that).