Death Stalks Charlie

Today was the day.

Death had waited for a very long time for this. But Death was patient and used to waiting.

Death sat and watched as Charlie carefully climbed to the tippy top of the rickety aluminum ladder. One rung shy, Charlie hesitated and reached out hopefully, then cursed. Death would have smiled if it could. Charlie would have to go all the way up to squash that spider, even with the broom in hand. Finally, Charlie shakily took that last step, reached out again.

The ladder teetered.


The spider’s corpse tumbled to the hardwood floor. Charlie remained atop the ladder.

Death sighed. Damn.

Charlie’s shower proved peril-free as well. Not even the hint of a slip.

Today was the day.

Today was the day.

Dinnertime. Yes, now was the time. Cooking was even more risky than shaky ladders. Death’s patience would finally be rewarded.

Death sat, watched, and waited. But Charlie made it through most of the meal prep unscathed.

Today was the day.

Well, Death would make it happen.

Death stalked forward, bumped against Charlie. Nothing. Death did it again. And again. And…

Death was suddenly airborne, flailing for for purchase on nothing. Then Death was face to face with Charlie.

“Cat, what have I told you?”

Death narrowed its eyes. “Mrr.”

Charlie shook his head. “Yeah, yeah, you’d probably be perfectly happy to see me dead.”


“That’s what I thought.” Charlie set Death back on the ground, reached into the low cabinet and set out Death’s food. Death tried to resist, but it had worked up an appetite today.

Death attacked the kibble. The food wasn’t ideal, but it would do.

The final indignity occurred when Charlie reached down and scritched Death between the ears. Death purred. That was the one spot it could never reach.

Perhaps tomorrow would be the day.

Death could wait.